Joint custody arrangements can often be stressful, frustrating, and emotionally and physically exhausting, especially in cases where one spouse has a contentious relationship with the other.
But if both parents put their emotions aside and put the needs and well-being of their child first, achieving a workable co-parenting plan isn’t only possible, but it can even happen sooner than you might think. The following co-parenting tips can help give your children the stability, security, and close relationships with both parents that they need to live happy and fulfilled lives.
Keep Your Feelings About Your Ex-Spouse Separate From Your Behavior
After a divorce, it is common to feel hurt and angry, or even hatred toward your ex. But if you want your child to live a happier and more stable life, then you need to be able to push those feelings to the side. It is important to note that your feelings aren’t unwarranted; it is simply that they have no place in helping you give your child the most peaceful life moving forward.
Never Use Your Child as Leverage Against Your Ex-Spouse
Children should never be used as leverage by one or both parents. They also shouldn’t be used as “messengers.” Your children only want to be loved by both of their parents. That’s it. If you say negative things about your ex to your children, you will only wind up hurting your children and you might even risk ruining your own relationship with them at some point.
Keep the Lines of Communication Open With Your Ex-Spouse
You and your ex-spouse have children together, so you are going to have to deal with each other for many, many years. There will be a seemingly endless number of times where you will need to have discussions about your child’s health, education, friends, habits, behaviors, and general well-being. To ensure your child gets the best care and attention possible, it is essential for you to keep the lines of communication open with your ex-spouse, so you both know exactly what’s happening in your child’s life.
Work as a Team
Both you and your ex-spouse only want the best for your children, so use that commonality to work together as a team, so you can both provide it. Nobody is asking you to forgive your ex or to get back together. This is simply about working peacefully together to help raise your children in the healthiest and happiest environment possible. When important decisions need to be made, both parents should be involved.
Make Transitions as Easy as Possible
Every time a child visits one parent, they’re leaving the other. As excited as they are to see one, they are equally as sad to leave the other. Making the transition from one parent to the other is one of the most challenging things a child of divorce deals with. Make it easier by reminding your child of their visit a day or two before and have a packing list to help ensure you don’t forget to pack their favorite items.
It is also recommended that parents never pick up their children. Instead, the parent with custody at the time should drop the child off at the other parent’s house or place of meeting. This will help avoid one parent from accidentally interrupting a special moment between the other parent and their child.
A Skilled Mediator Can Help You Create a Child Custody Plan That Works for Your Family
Divorce mediators aren’t only skilled at helping couples negotiate the terms of their divorces. They can also help both parties create a child custody and support plan that puts the best interests of their children first.
Let us help you and your ex-spouse create a child custody and support plan that works for your family’s unique needs. Contact Medication Professionals of Long Island today by calling 646-992-7440 or click here to send us a message online. Compassionate mediation can help you, your child, and your ex-spouse navigate life after divorce.